I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
