Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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