Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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