gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
