I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
