Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
