I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She bit a glass in half.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
