Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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