Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
