I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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