I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
