I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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