He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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