im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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