Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is her dick bigger than yours?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I love you.
Bad choice
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