We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
