Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
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Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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