if i can run in heels then i can drive
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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