You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
