i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
