is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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