i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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