Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
