I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
