Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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