He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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