She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
