Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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