Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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