Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
