i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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