A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
