I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
