Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
