'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize