Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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