Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
