sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
