I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
