Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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