I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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