when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
