in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The feeling are messing with the penis
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
