I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Farmville is her only friend.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
