If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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