It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
