found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
