If i come over, it means nothing
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Also, beer. Big fan.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
