just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
