My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
