where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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