i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
