only if we run a train.
done.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
