i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
