The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
