going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
