I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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