it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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