I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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