im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize