Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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