Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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