we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
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I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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