THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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