You made me cry and you don't even care
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
