Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
