Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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