i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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