Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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