It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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