matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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