It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
4 words: hood of his car
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
FUCK WHALES
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