fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize